Oh what I wouldn't give to be Heidi...Not!

Oops she did it again and again and again…until she was up to 10 plastic surgeries in one day. One day! Heidi Montag, the 23 year-old reality star of The Hills revealed where she’s been spending her funds nine weeks after recuperating from her latest endeavor, a DDD cup, among other procedures.

Montag claims that her new look is a “different, improved version,” of her old self. Yeah right. The only thing she has from her old self is her signature blond hair, and even that is fake I’m sure.

According to the New York Daily News, Montags to-do list included the following procedures:

o Mini brow lift
o Botox
o Rhinoplasty (nose job)
o Fat injections in her cheeks and lips
o Chin reduction
o Liposuction to her neck
o Ears pinned back
o Buttock augmentation
o Liposuction to her waist and thighs
o Breast augmentation revision.

Heidi can’t see what she has done to herself is horrendous, even with Spencer Pratt’s disagreement with her decisions. For once, I think celeb followers are on Pratt’s side, a rare and inconceivable thing—unless you’ve seen the latest photos of his wife, Heidi. Pratt can now proudly say that he is the better, and more real, half in their relationship.

In an interview with PEOPLE magazine Pratt said, "Anytime I hinted that it might be a little much or if I just asked if she was sure, I even felt like I was crossing lines. I'm not in charge of what she does with any part of her body. I'm her husband – not her owner."

WHAT?! Pratt, you are the only voice of reasoning that she might have listened to. And if not, you could have at least tried and held an intervention, right? I mean, now that would have made for great footage in the upcoming season of The Hills.

"Right after … it was the worst experience of my life. Nobody that loves a loved one should see that,” Pratt told PEOPLE. He’s right, Montag is only 23, but with her recent procedures she looks like she’s 45. She will become the Cat Lady of our generation—move over Jocelyn Wildenstein, there’s a hot new kitty in Tinseltown.

If you love someone set them free, if they come back it’s meant to be…pretty sure the Heidi that Pratt fell for will never be coming back. The only place she’s going back to is her plastic surgeon to buy her H cups.